I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
