what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
