your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
