What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
