last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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