We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
