I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
