but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
