I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize