I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
