the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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