Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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