I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
