i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
