help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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