I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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