super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
