don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
