This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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