The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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