the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
