Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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