Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
