so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
