who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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