To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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