im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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