Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
