Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
