You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
