The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
