i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
