Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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