I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
