I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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