So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
