YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
