I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
