Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
