I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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