just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
