my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
