she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
