He is an equal opportunity slut.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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