Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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