Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
