Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
