he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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