The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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