marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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