It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
