Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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