I seem to have left my pride at pride
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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