you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
