She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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