Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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