We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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