yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
