I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
