my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
