Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
