my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
