So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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