it wasn't lemon gatorade
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
