I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
